« Declawing | Main | You have no idea... »

March 20, 2007

Some of my finer quotes

So, I was BSing with my co-workers today when I mentioned a few conversations I've had recently and how I need to bite my tongue because I'm becoming bitter in my old age. They requested I create this blog because I have been very "quotable" lately. So I suppose I will share my insight:

"Perhaps your telekinesis isn't working because you spelled it wrong!"

(while talking on a cell phone) "I need to throw a rock through your window, Can I call you back on the landline?"

"I love PETA, fuck the haters, I want a little entertainment for my donated dollar. If I'm going to give you my hard earned cash I want you to throw some paint on some celebrities, free mountain lions in a heavily populated area, get mowed over by a tractor in protest... something, for christsakes! Work for it!"

A new one I added to the list this afternoon:

"They say there is nothing better than chocolate, apparently they've never beat dumbasses with a baseball bat."

and my personal favorite strictly out of it's profound nature:

"Never trust the old lady by the gumball machine, for only fate and she knows what the plastic bubble will hold."

So, I guess what I'm saying is don't piss me off this week, I'm being eloquent and it's proving dangerous.


Posted by Decemberice at March 20, 2007 07:08 PM

Comments

I'ma go to Lowe's and buy a brick. And then I'ma paint a happy face on it and put it all up on your desk!!!!

After that, I think I'll meddle once again in gnome affairs, and then call you to come bail me out of the gnome prison, where they will most assuredly have tortured me unspeakably.

Then I think I'll take my gray haired self and stand by a gumball machine somewhere before going off to beat some people with a baseball bat...or stab some little kids with pointy sticks.

I'm thinking happy thoughts for you though. Because I have learned to spell Telekineesis properly lol, and if I can will floss to myself, I think I can work on willing happier events to you.

Posted by: Ashley at March 22, 2007 02:35 AM