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April 01, 2008
Random Thoughts...
... from the village idiot.
So, I was talking... texting... with a friend yesterday and came across my genius plan to make a billion dollars. I plan to invent cold medicine in the form of clam chowder. Does anybody not like clam chowder? No, some people are allergic and for them we could put some benadryl and pepper on top, but really, it's a billion dollar idea.
I also remembered the time I was at Wal-Mart (may it be damned) and a person a few stages up from me at the checkout collapsed and the person behind her in a completely over-the-top fashion screams out "We need to reciprocate!"
It was, at this moment, that I chose to correct her grammar, because what she really meant was resuscitate. It was then that I realized I'm a bad person. Though it should be noted I called 911. The point I'm making though, is that it matters EVER MORE when there is an emergency or crisis to be well spoken. There is a world of difference between most words that rhyme or even sound alike. Had I tried to call rin tin tin instead of 911 she would have been totally screwed.
Grammar matters folks! It's punctuation and structure that really doesn't. Not in today's world. I've noticed that we've all but forgotten to indent the first sentence of a paragraph because we are more used to blogging, texting, and messaging one another than writing in any scholarly capacity.
I'm also ready to purchase season 5 of the X-files on my mad journey to have watched it all. Scully is still hot, even as a gay guy I can appreciate her beauty. She still wields the epic power to make a pant suit with shoulder pads look sexy.In fact she ought to have that put on her tombstone:
"In the year of our lord- ninteen hundred and ninety five... I rocked a beige ass pant suit with shoulder pads like none other."
I remember a friend of mine whose a bit more obsessed with X-Files than I, who read an interview with her in some magazine once where Gillian Anderson noted that she doesn't eat gassy foods like most veggies. How god-like is that? When you forgoe a food group just to be more presentable/civil. How can you not love her?!
At any rate I should likely go because I always manage to make more a fool of myself than anything else on this blog. Every additional sentence is a new opportunity to dishonor the family on these web 2.0 contraptions.
Posted by Decemberice at April 1, 2008 07:51 PM
Comments
I hate clam chowder actually. Once - when I read Moby Dick (which has an entire chapter about chowder) I was convinced I liked it and went and bought some - but found not even Herman Melville is powerful enough to make me love chowder.
Anyway -
I am guessing you are stoked for the Xfiles 2 movie huh?
Posted by: sarah at April 1, 2008 10:31 PM
LOL ha! J That tombstone thing is halarious!
As far as the clam chowder idea...it's genious. I would eat it with crackers. You better patent it though so some son of a whore doesn't steal it! And then once you become a billionare, you can build that pirate ship you've always wanted in your back yard.
Posted by: Austin at April 3, 2008 10:09 PM