« You absolutely, positively, must watch this... | Main | Back home... »
August 01, 2008
Sunset on the Caribbean…
… with a coke and cheeseburger.
We got back last night from Ocho Rios (or Ochie as they call it here) which was a nice final highlight to my time in Jamaica. We went to an all-inclusive resort called Club Ambiance (www.clubambiance.com). I’ve come to know a new kind of heaven know as “all-inclusive”. They really mean it too.
The ride to Ochie was fun. I saw Jungle Vines! My life has been validated. I also saw some amazing carvings, and drove through a real Fern gulley with over 200 kinds of ferns. Who knew there were 200. Unforunately, that fact has now occupied space in my brain I could have used for something important.
So EK, and I get to Ocho Rios before we headed out to Runaway Bay and went to the local market to shop for non-touristy gear. That isn’t exactly what the Jamaican local markets are like however because I’ve never seen such a touristy local market in my life. I got talked into buying a massive modern art painting of some naked people dancing. It rocked! I only spent $80 dollars by the time I’d haggled it down from $300. Then our guide assigned his 13 year old cousin to taking us on a tour of Ochie. The kid kept trying to steer us to the Tourist stores and didn’t seem to understand my truly Seattle-like need for chocolate and coffee one in the same so I ended up finally finding my own coffee locale and EK and I had the worst frappucinos ever, but they were similar to Starbucks in that they were a cold coffee drink, which made me feel a little better about paying $7 a cup for them. That’s like a quarter million Jamaican dollars.
We stayed about 20 minutes from Ocho Rios in a location called Runaway Bay. It’s actually about 5 minutes down the highway from Sandals and Breezes. Less notably it is right next door to “Hedonism III”… the nude beach. Luckily, Hedonism III is well guarded so my vacation wasn’t tainted by old people parts (why are the elderly the only people who go to nude beaches?).
Back to the matter at hand…
Club Ambiance was really cool. Especially because it didn’t cost a small fortune and what you got for what you paid made it extremely worth it. I actually paid more to stay at the Holiday Inn last year for my “in-town getaway” than I paid to stay at this resort in Jamaica.
I took Monday off and we stayed for 3 days and 2 nights. It began like this: J and EK enter resort and are immediately greeted with a familiar pink drink. Having learned quickly that Jamaican’s don’t play when it comes to Rum, we asked if this was Rum punch and the front desk lady says “No Rum… not yet.” SHE LIES! One sip and the overproof white rum burned its way down. EK and I just kinda turned to each other and laughed.
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation and had no idea how it came up? Let me preface this by saying it was all a joke over why they would need our card on file when we had already given them the number. At some point after EK and I had mentioned something about bringing lizards and trashing the room, not turning off the coffee pot and burning down the resort… etc… the front desk lady raised an eyebrow, and lo and behold, we got a room right next to the front desk. But it’s OK because we had the no holds barred AC that made me, a winter guy, feel right at home. It was the first time I’ve felt cold in Jamaica. It was great!
So I swam in the ocean, got saltwater in my mouth, loved it. I was attacked by Sand Crabs, and played pool under a palm tree. I got to sit on a tropical beach, rum in hand, watching time go by, and the sun set over the ocean. I later came back as a good American to eat a cheeseburger and drink a coke oceanside. We watched this live band perform over dinner and they actually performed a dead-on cover of “Stir it Up” by Bob Marley. I love that song. I think our entire crew is sick of hearing “One Love” though. I cannot even express to you the astronomical likelihood that you will hear that song each time you turn on a radio anywhere in Jamaica.
I did not go snorkeling. I enjoy my fish steamed, not in their native environment. There they have the advantage. I’m entering their turf, and you have to be wise of fish, because they have every reason to hate man. We have everything, dump oil in their house from time to time, and then eat them. I would hate us too.
EK was brave and opted to go snorkeling. I can only laugh at his brave insanity. Incidentally, I also hate the word snorkel, and I’ve opted to refer to it henceforth as Fishservation.
Digressing for a moment, I want to mention my fascination with Jamaican pizza. The crust tastes like donuts and it is covered in sweet peppers and mozzarella. The sauce is like marinara. I could tell that this place catered to Americans because there was Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Midnight Snack. Most American’s will probably recognize Midnight Snack as “Fourth Meal” circa Taco Bell 2007-8.
… now back to the story…
On the ride back we stopped in Ochie again and I went to Margaritaville. OMG People freakin’ drink there! I stuck to Coke and Nachos We went back for $7 coffees and I went touristy shopping got terrified at the grammatical errors on the t-shirts and then escaped back to Kingston.
That leaves me with 3 working days left, or really 2 now before packing on Friday then heading out. I’m about done here and my last two days will be spent on metrics. BOOOO! If I see one more excel file in my life my head is going to explode and represent its shattered hot mess in the form of a pivot chart. But we can’t all make money playing video games now can we?
UPDATE: I was a little late posting this and my working days are up. I leave for the states first thing tomorrow morning... at the ungodly hour 6am. See you all soon.
I'll post the pictures of Ochie once I get back!
Posted by Decemberice at August 1, 2008 10:08 AM