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August 31, 2008
You and me and Steve Ballmer...
... makes three.
Had the weirdest dream. I think it's because I've been on a 50-60's rock kick, but I had to share this cracked out masterpiece with you all.
The dream starts with my friend Ashley and I trying to go to her friend Alex's birthday. Well, Alex is kinda my friend to, to the level that anyone who you don't hang out with but twice a year is a friend. At any rate, we are going to his birthday and we run into this girl called ... Cat Toe... no shit. She tells me her name is Cat Toe. In my dream, I'm immediately mocking her, now that was a mistake, I quickly learned that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, should you mock anybody named Cat Toe. Take heed.
So Cat Toe tosses us in a Cadillac limousine and that's where things get shady because there is a guy in the back seat who says he sales life insurance and keeps telling us that God made us out of clay. Being defiant by spirit I share with him that I don't believe in a single Christian God, 26 years worth of church reps and growing up in Christian culture/society couldn't sell me on God, neither can a salesman in the back of a limo driven by the diabolical Cat Toe.
This is the point where he starts screaming that god made us out of clay and my arm starts to crumble. Clearly the only response to this is, WHAT A POOR DESIGN! So that's what I yell back.
Luckily... don't laugh quite yet, this isn't exactly the best part... Aquaman inexplicably shows up to toss water on me which keeps the rest of my body from crumbling. It appears that the salesman and Cat Toe are terrified of Aquaman. Now I don't understand why anyone would be terrified of Aquaman, he essentially has no superpower. If he's outside of water for more than an hour he dies, what danger does he potentially hold in the back seat of a limo above water? Plus he has no flight, no superstrength, nothing... he's the most useless superhero in history, but hey, if he wants to save my ass, I'm not going to point it out.
SO Ashley and I decide not to take this sitting down and research with the help of Grissom from CSI, this caper and somehow discover that it was masterminded by STEVE BALLMER!!!
That's right, in my dreams I'm kidnapped and preached at under the direction of Microsoft's president. I thought it was only fitting. Regardless of how clearly implausible this dream was I've taken it as a sign that I must continue to use Apple products to thwart the diabolical Cat Toe, Salesman, and their dark master Steve Ballmer. This obviously secures that I am losing my mind slowly.
That is all. Oh, and in reality I downloaded a song titled "Streetwalker" by Delta Spirit. It's pretty cool and you can catch it on my MySpace profile as I've added it as the default song.
Posted by Decemberice at August 31, 2008 10:34 PM